Angel Standing By by Emmy



Summary: Willow/Angel: Life goes on . . . and so does Willow.
Rating: Adults Only
Categories: Jossverse Love, BtVS/Angel
Characters: None
Genres: Angst, Drama, Romance
Warnings: Character Death, Explicit Sex, Spoilers for BtVS seasons 1-7
Challenges: None
Series: None
Published: 10/12/07
Updated: 10/12/07


Angel Standing By by Emmy
Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Author's Notes: Notes: Gabrielle, this is for you. :)

Thanks so very much to Shannon for the beta.





Life had certainly changed for Willow over the years. The innocent school girl she'd been when she first met Buffy was gone, as was the not-so-innocent witch she'd become by the time the Sunnydale hellmouth finally closed for good. She had, in many ways, become extraordinarily confident, secure in her abilities as both a woman and a witch. She had taken the software business by storm several times using different assumed names over the years. She helped with the slayers too, of course; she spent a good portion of her time traveling from place to place just to check up on them, even. She watched things change as the years went by, and adapted the girls' training by that, as well. She had new equipment - always the best - delivered to the Watchers Council on a regular basis because she thought it would help them. But, for the most part, Willow kept to herself. She had houses in London, New York, and LA, but spent the majority of her time traveling. It was easiest that way. Easiest because, for all that her self esteem had grown over the years, she was still - in many ways - that lonely little girl she'd been right before she met Buffy for the first time. Time hadn't changed her that much.

Times had changed. She watched the years pass with wonder, awe, and an incredible sadness so strong she hadn't the words to describe it. That last spell she'd done in Sunnydale had changed her. She'd known immediately, of course, that something was different, but it took a vampire draining her to the point that she should have died for everyone to realize exactly how much Willow had changed. She was immortal. And that? That was a lonely gig.

Willow had been well and truly alone for five years when she saw him again. She had watched over the years, as her friends died one by one by one. Buffy, Giles, Faith, Xander, Dawn, and the numerous other people she'd known throughout her life. Xander was the last to go. Willow was pretty sure he was holding on just for her at the end, though. Surviving to ninety-five was an astounding accomplishment, given their line of work. But in the end, she was alone. Or so she thought. Ireland, however, proved her wrong.

He was sitting in the back of a coffee shop with a sketch pad in front of him. He was working away, seemingly oblivious to his surroundings, but Willow knew the second he caught her scent. Knew the second he recognized her scent. He was slow to look up, and she was frozen by the door. The hostess, she knew, was repeating her request to know how big of a table she needed, and Willow blinked away her shock long enough to say, "Um, I see someone I know. I'll just go over there."

But even after saying that, she found herself unable to move for several minutes. Then slowly, her hand tightened around her bag and she walked over to his table. "Hello, Angel."

He regarded her without blinking, and her senses told her that he was trying to figure out if she was a vampire. "I'm not. You can stop that. The whole throwing your master vampire mojo at me. 'Cause I'm not. Not a vampire, I mean. And I can tell you still have your soul, so let's just skip this part, okay?"

It took him a second, but he nodded. "Sit."

She slid into the booth and simply could not take her eyes off the vampire in front of her. Finally, she said, "I thought you were dead. You know, really dead."

"And you should be." He stated it simply, this huge fact of her life that was staring them both in the face.

She sighed. The waitress was on her way over, she saw that out of the corner of her eye, and Willow knew this conversation would have to wait a little bit longer. She smiled as brightly as she could when the girl got there, and quickly placed her order. The waitress asked Angel if he wanted anything, and he just shook his head. Once she was gone, Willow glanced down at the sketch pad still between them, somewhat desperately seeking something - anything - to prolong the conversation that was sure to follow. What she saw shocked her, amazed her, and she blinked rapidly at the beauty of the portrait. "Oh my God, Angel! That's . . . I don't even know how to describe how beautiful that is."

It was a picture of a young girl, and the detail was astounding. Angel seemed to have captured part of her very spirit in the drawing. Willow wanted to reach out and touch it, but didn't dare. Somehow she knew she shouldn't. "Who is that?"

"My great-granddaughter."

Willow blinked again. "Connor had children?"

"And they had children."

"Wow."

"It's a little weird sometimes, but . . . they're family."

Willow felt a pang of loneliness shoot through her at that word. It had been so very long since she'd had a family. She'd barely allowed herself the chance to get to know anyone since Xander died, choosing instead to do her job and not get too close to anyone. It was safer that way . . . it meant she couldn't get her heart broken. "It was the spell," she heard herself say. "The one I used to activate all the slayers. When I did it, I, um, took on responsibility for the entire slayer line. So, as long as there are slayers, there will also be me."

Willow's coffee was delivered a moment after she finished speaking, and Angel stared at her the entire time the girl was at their table. Once she was gone, Willow sighed when he still hadn't spoken. "Say something."

"You're Immortal?"

Willow shrugged gazing down into her coffee. She did not like talking about it. She did not like thinking about it. It hurt too much, knowing that she could never marry, never have children, never have friends. Even if she'd accepted it, it just hurt entirely too much. "Unless someone manages to kill all the slayers? Yes. But there are currently 1500 of them, and more are called every single day. I'll be around for a long, long time, I'm pretty sure."

She felt Angel's hand on hers and looked up into compassionate eyes. She tried to smile, tried to keep her eyes from filling with tears, but she didn't quite make it happen. "I'm really glad to see you, you know."

Angel smiled at her then, softly. "I know the feeling. How long have you been alone?"

Willow stirred a packet of sugar into her coffee before she answered, calming herself down a little. "Five years. Xander was the last. Do you know about any of the others?"

Angel's eyes showed pain as he said, "I know Buffy died when she was forty-five."

"It was a good death."

His face was grim but he nodded, "Hers always were."

They were silent for a few long moments before Willow tilted her head to the side. "I thought you were dead. I mean really dead."

"The Wolfram and Hart thing?"

"Yeah."

"No. Spike and I survived."

"Spike's not dead?" She smiled a little as she asked; Willow couldn't help but feel a little excited about hearing that. One familiar face was wonderful. Two? Even better.

"Not any more than he usually is," Angel grinned. "He and Drusilla are in Paris right now, I think. We're supposed to meet up in New York sometime this spring."

Willow's smile was genuine when she said, "I'm glad you're not alone, Angel. I really am."

He squeezed her hand, and it was only then that she realized he'd never let it go. "Want to get out of here? Go somewhere where we can talk without worrying about being overheard?"

Willow nodded, and soon found herself inside a small cottage on the outskirts of town. Angel's house, apparently. "How did you know I still have my soul?"

She blinked. "Um, I can see it . . . sense it. Or my magic can. It's solid now, too. There aren't any holes. You can't lose it again, can you?"

Angel shook his head. "No. The Powers That Be . . . that was my reward. Darla and I having Connor, his family line - my family line - that was the Shanshu all along. My soul becoming permanent was my reward for fighting the so-called good fight all those years."

It took Willow a moment to digest that information, but she was out and out grinning at him when she'd taken in all that he'd said. "That's fantastic, Angel! Congratulations!"

He grinned back, and shrugged. "I've had a while to get used to it."

Rising, Willow walked to the window to look out at the rolling hills behind the house. It was so beautiful, so peaceful. She hoped Angel wouldn't be offended if she asked to meditate in his backyard before she left. It looked like an incredibly potent spot to connect to the earth. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear Angel's question until it was half out of his mouth. Turning, she asked, "What?"

"What are you doing in Ireland?"

"Oh," she arched an eyebrow. "How many Slayers live in this area, Mr. Vampire?"

"There are two at the local university," Angel answered automatically, "and three in Dublin."

Willow smiled. "I'm here checking on them. Well, the girls and their watchers. It's part of my job. I go around making sure that everything's going okay, that everyone is all right, and that there's no big bad looming on the horizon that they can't handle."

Angel nodded. "And the rest of the time? You said that was only part of your job."

"Ah, well, the rest of the time I try to have as much of a normal life as possible. I mean, I live in the States most of the time, I do at-home consultant work for a computer software company, and I just . . . "

"Stay away from people?"

Willow ducked her head. "Not very normal, huh?"

She could feel the tears gathering in her eyes again, and hated the fact that all of this felt new again. She'd dealt with this, hadn't she? She had come to terms with being immortal, come to terms with the fact that she would most likely never again have any real friends or family because she would, in the end, just have to watch them die. She had known about this since 2004 after all, and that had been years and years ago. Willow did not realize she was crying, really crying, until Angel's arms wrapped around her. She flinched at his touch at first, because it had just been so long since she let anyone actually touch her, and then allowed herself to melt into his arms. He held her until her tears had stopped, held her until her shoulders had stopped shaking, held her until they were just standing there with their arms around each other.

Her voice was soft when she spoke, and she made no move to pull away from him. "Thank you."

He didn't ask her what she was thanking him for, and Willow suspected that was because he already knew. Her friends were all dead, and she hadn't let anyone close to her since. Seeing him in that coffee shop had shocked her. It had made her realize exactly how much she'd been longing to see a familiar face. Angel didn't even acknowledge the thank you, he simply turned her face up to his and brushed a soft kiss along her lips. It could barely even be called a kiss it was so light, but Willow shuddered at the contact all the same. "You don't have to be alone anymore, Willow."

Something broke inside of her then, a little dam of emotion she had been holding back from everyone . . . even herself. She wasn't alone anymore. For the first time in a very long time, Willow smiled. She really and truly smiled. And, she noticed with a little thrill, Angel smiled back at her. Feeling more bold than she had in ages, Willow pushed herself up on her tiptoes and kissed Angel. Her arms were already around his neck, so it was easy to pull herself a little closer. Not that she needed much help in that department. Angel's arms tightened around her and he deepened the kiss instantly. They kissed for long moments, neither one of them attempting to move things forward. They simply stood there enjoying each other until Willow finally pulled away, a blush spreading across her face. She bit her swollen bottom lip then and gazed up at Angel. "Should I apologize?"

"Don't you dare." He grinned and reached out, his fingers brushing the spot her teeth met her lip. "And if you keep that up, I'm not going to be able to resist kissing you again."

She grinned then, and laughed, and looped her arm through his as she led him to the sofa. "So, wanna tell me about your grandkids?"





Willow stayed in Ireland months longer than she had planned. Angel had insisted, and she hadn't even thought to argue. Work could wait. Spending time with an old friend was . . . it was too good to pass up. The loneliness she'd felt for so long had eased drastically since that day in the coffee shop. She'd even spoken to Spike on the phone twice, and was left with a feeling of contentedness after each conversation that she simply could not put into words.

Then there was Angel. They spent so much time talking, more time than she'd ever imagined him talking to anyone, let alone her. It was comfortable, this thing that was developing between them. Comfortable and a little bit frightening all at once. Angel was an intense vampire. She'd always known that, but to be the central object of that intensity, even for a moment, could be a little overwhelming. In a good way, of course. His kisses left her breathless, his touch made her crave more of him than she'd ever thought she'd know. And then there was the little matter of the invitation he'd extended to her the week before. He'd asked her to come with him when he met up with his childer in New York. The sheer emotion shining in his eyes when he asked her to come with him to meet Dru and Spike in March, how she'd just known he'd truly wanted her to say yes, it was enough to send her flying into his arms, hugging him for all she was worth.

She knew he'd welcome her into his arms, his bed, any time she chose to go to him, but she held back. Not because she didn't want him - that wasn't it at all. She did want him. Badly. In fact, it had been a long, long time since she had wanted someone as much as she wanted him, since Tara, she was sure. The problem was that she was scared. Willow was holding back because part of her was still afraid that this was some sort of dream she'd wake up from, alone and cold. Or worse, that Angel would change his mind, decide he didn't want her hanging around, and she wasn't sure she would be able to handle that. So she took her time, learning more about him every day, letting him get to know her again. She let things build naturally, their relationship, the trust they had in each other, and she knew that - if the timing was ever just right - they'd take the next step.

Winter fell around them, and she and Angel explored the area at night, allowing her to see Ireland from his point of view. He said that winter was his favorite season, and always had been for some reason - even before he became a vampire and the winter led to shorter days. They'd walk hand and hand down streets that looked completely different at night than they did during her excursions during the day. They walked and talked and it very quickly became a routine with them. It was almost as if her day was not complete without a walk with Angel.

Willow was left breathless every single time Angel would tell her something about his childhood. He did not grow up in the area they were in, but it was similar enough that he was occasionally struck with a memory and would share it with her. He tended, she noticed, to lapse into a bit of a brogue when he did so. His voice became thicker, a little deeper, and she just loved it. He smiled sheepishly once when she told him as much, and confessed that he kind of liked it too. It made him remember why he'd returned to Ireland in the first place: he needed to reconnect to his roots because it had simply been too long.

It was on one of their long walks through the country side that Willow finally told him of all the things she'd done in the years since they last saw each other. She told him of first discovering her immortality, of leaving to spend a year on another plane of existence to learn to deal with her new level of power, and of the friends they once had in common. She told him of Xander and Dawn's children, of Buffy finally settling down with a nice man who truly appreciated her, and of Faith's ever-roaming ways. The so-called "dark" slayer never settled down, but she did go down fighting . . . and closed the Cleveland hellmouth doing it.

Angel told her, eventually, what happened in LA that final year he was there. He told her tales of deceit, treachery, and betrayal that left her head spinning at the complexities of it. He told her of the way his friends had fought valiantly to the end, and had fallen with honor. Good deaths, he called them, repeating what Willow had said about Buffy's death the first night they were together. Willow remained silent throughout the story, and it was only when he had finished speaking that she reached out and took his hand in hers. It took him several moments, but he did eventually look up to meet her gaze. "So you slayed a dragon, huh?"

Her question drew a short laugh out of him, and his eyes softened. "Yeah. It was . . . amazingly cool."

Willow grinned. "I can only imagine."

Time passed quickly, and it was New Years Eve before they knew it. Neither one of them had felt like going into town to celebrate, choosing instead to spend a quiet evening at the cottage. Angel had, however, gone out early in the evening and returned with a bottle of champagne for Willow. It was close to midnight when Angel suggested they go outside. Fireworks, he reminded her when she looked at him like he was insane. A cold front had fallen upon the earth that afternoon, and the temperature had dropped drastically. She nibbled on her lip a second, thinking about how cold it was out there, before nodding and darting quickly to layer a think sweater over the shirt she already wore. A jacket went over that, and she hardly noticed when Angel grabbed the unopened champagne before ushering them outside.

She let him help her up onto the roof and smiled brightly at the view. "It's beautiful up here!"

Angel spread a blanket out over the snow covered roof and pulled her down. "It'll get better."

He popped open the champagne and poured them both a glass. "What should we toast to?"

Willow just smiled. "You choose."

Angel licked his lips. "New beginnings? Friends? Family? Me finally taking you to bed? World domination?"

"I . . . what?" Willow sputtered as the first fireworks began to sound in the distance. "Did you just say world domination?"

Angel grinned as he tipped back his glass and drained it. "Willow, if that's the only thing you heard, then you're getting a little senile in your old age."

"Old age?" Willow drained her glass as well, and set it aside. "And you're how much older than me, mister?"

Angel's arm slid around her waist and pulled her closer to him. "At midnight," he whispered, "the bells of every cathedral in town will toll."

Willow licked her lips as the first sounds of the ringing bells reached her ears. Angel looked down and held her gaze. "I want to take you to my bed, Willow."

His words thrilled her, made her body ache with want, and she knew it was time. Wrapping her arms around him, she simply nodded, and then Angel's mouth was on hers. He wasted no time deepening the kiss, and Willow moaned as his hands tightened on her hips when his tongue slipped past her lips. Her hands moved up his back and into his hair, and she pulled back slightly. Angel broke the kiss and looked at her, but there was a little yellow tinting his pupils. "Oh, don't you get all growly on me, sir. I'm not stopping you forever. I just don't want to end up naked on your roof with nothing between my skin and the snow but this blanket."

"Naked? You think we'll get naked?" Angel asked with a small smile on his face, his voice sounding both hopeful and eager.

Willow rolled her eyes. "I've been wanting to see you naked nearly my whole life, vampire . . . well, ever since my doppleganger told me she kept you in a cage and called you puppy."

He blinked. Then blinked again. "You never told me that before."

She grinned. "Nope."

He kissed her again, harder this time, and pulled her into his lap. She could feel his erection pressing against her, and she arched herself against him automatically. Angel growled. "Stop that."

"Why?"

"Because if you don't, we will not be making it back inside."

She gazed into his eyes, reveling in the emotions she saw shining back at her. "So let's go back inside."

They barely made it back to the sofa. Kissing, touching, laughing along the way, Angel settled them so that Willow was on his lap, her legs straddling his, and Willow grinned against his mouth. "Angel. . ."

"Yeah?"

"It's been so long."

He nodded and tightened his hands on her hips. "I know. For me, too. We can stop . . . if you want to."

Willow answered him by kissing him again and Angel moaned. She could still feel the hard length of his cock pressing against her inner thigh, and couldn't stop herself from grinding down on him slightly. He groaned low and long, but did not stop her movements this time. His hands on her hips, he guided her, showing her how he wanted her to move, and Willow silently cursed the layers of clothing between them. She pulled out of their kiss and stared at him with glazed eyes. "Too many clothes."

He just nodded, his own eyes a little glassy. He started peeling away her clothes then, And she unbuttoned his shirt, kissing little bits of skin here and there as it was revealed. They stood only long enough to shed their pants, and then she was back in his lap and this time when she moved against him . . . this time, it was amazing.

Angel cupped her breasts, his thumbs circling her nipples as they hardened into sharp little peaks. Lifting her up and leaning down just a little, Willow cried out as he sucked a nipple into his mouth, his tongue swirling over the tight nub. She heard the ripping of fabric and knew he'd just torn her underwear off, leaving them both completely naked. Smiling against his neck, she asked breathlessly, "Eager?"

"Aren't you?" he countered.

"Can't you tell?"

He just grinned at her and slipped one of his hands down her torso. Willow cried out his name when his fingers found her wetness, dipping and twisting easily into the center of her body. She writhed against his hand and had to bite her tongue to keep from begging him for more. As though he sensed her unspoken need, his thumb found her clit as he said, "You want something more, Willow?"

She could only nod. It really had been so very long, and it all felt so, so good. His fingers were still moving inside her, his thumb still pressing against her clit, and yes she wanted more.

"What? What do you want?"

Gasping as he pressed another finger inside of her, she bucked against his hand. "I want to come. I someone besides me to make me come."

He seemed to pull her closer to him at her words, and his thumb began to trace gentle circles around her clit. "Is that all? Will that satisfy you?"

She knew the answer, knew it would not be enough. For months now they'd been dancing around this, and now that they were finally here, there was absolutely no way she would want to stop at just an orgasm. "N-no. It wouldn't be enough. It would never be enough."

Angel pressed his fingers against that elusive mound of tissue inside of her and Willow almost came undone. "I want you inside me. God and Goddess, Angel, I want you inside of me."

He growled then, and lifted her ever so slightly, positioning her above his cock. Willow had only a moment to see, a moment to grasp how much of him was about to be shoved inside her most intimate parts, before he was pressing himself inside. Her head rolled back as her inner muscles stretched to allow him in, and the hand stroking down her back was the only indication she had that Angel knew about her potential distress. It hurt, the stretch and burn of his cock entering her. When he was inside her fully, and Willow's breath was coming in ragged, harsh gulps for air, he kissed her gently.

Willow did not hesitate to return the kiss, especially when his fingers slipped between them and began stroking her clit once more. "You all right?"

She nodded and moved experimentally, pushing herself up with her knees and moaned loudly at the sensation. "Fine, Angel. I'm more than fine."

Angel's forehead rest against hers. "You're so fucking tight, Willow. I wanted to let you ride me. Wanted to let you set the pace. But . . ."

"Now you just want to fuck me?"

He groaned at her words and bucked his hips upwards. "Hard and fast. Right here. You bent over my couch."

Willow moaned again at that and kissed him hard. "Yes, yes, yes. Please, yes."

He moved so quickly when he wanted to. Willow found herself bent over, spread out for him, and ready for more within what seemed like seconds. He entered her slowly, that first thrust once again hurting just a bit, but this time her body was more prepared. Withdrawing and moving back inside left them both moaning, and his next thrust was quicker, harder. His hands were on her hips, pulling her body back to meet each movement, and Willow was lost then. Harder and harder he took her, and she lost count at the number of times she came from just his cock pressing against her g-spot with nearly every thrust. His movements became more erratic, and she screamed his name when he brought her over the edge once more, this time with his fingers on her clit. He came as she did, her name falling easily from his lips. They stayed as they were, bent over the sofa, both of them panting.

Willow felt limp, worn out and heavy, but Angel lifted her with ease. He kissed her gently as he cradled her in his arms and carried her up the stairs to his bedroom. She was still trembling, still coming down from the high he'd left her with, when he laid her out on his bed. She watched him through hooded eyes as he ran a hand down her stomach, stretching out beside her. "You still with me?"

"That was amazing."

"Yeah, it was," he said quietly.

She reached out then, cupping his face. "Happy New Year."

He grinned. "Oh yeah. Forgot about that. Got a little distracted once we got back inside."

She smiled back. "Kinda noticed."

"Just kinda? I must be losing my touch."

"You could always try again, you know. They say the second time can be the charm. Most of the time it's the third, though."

Angel laughed, the sound happy and bright, before he kissed her deeply. "Oh, I'd say we might even have to try for four or five."

Willow licked her lips. "Definitely. And maybe, if you get really lucky, I might even borrow a whip and call you Puppy sometime. Might let you tie me to the bed, too. One of these days."

His eyes widened slightly, and then he was on her. Kissing her, touching her, making her writhe in absolute pleasure. It was only after she'd come again, after he'd taken her once more, that he held her close and whispered, "I have a whip in the basement."

Willow just grinned.



END

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